OCR Output (chars: 2064)
Biff is an all-American man who cares very much about
babies. He’s been wondering: As a man, how can I prevent
Good news, Biff. Men can prevent 100% of abortions!
You read that right—every single unwanted pregnancy is caused by
See, Biff, babies are made when a penis ejaculates sperm into a vagina
and the sperm travels past the cervix and fertilizes an egg. And that
microscopic formation will one day be a baby that you can
deprive of nutritious food, a clean environment, a well-funded
education, health care, and a living wage. But that’s only if the
vagina-owner doesn’t kill it first, for a selfish reason such as not
wanting to die or not wanting to be reminded of you every day for the
rest of her life.
How it works:
Don’t ejaculate into a vagina!
That's right: if you don’t want to impregnate someone and leave it up
to her whether she will carry the baby to term or get an abortion, just
keep your penis out of there!
Your penis can ejaculate in lots of places—but you knew that
e¢ Awoman does not need your penis in her vagina—or anywhere!—
in order to be sexually gratified!
e Awoman can have orgasms every day but never run the risk of
pregnancy until you decide to irresponsibly orgasm!
e You can find pleasure with your lady friend in lots of ways that
don’t involve you launching sperm into her vagina!
Places you can ejaculate without fertilizing an egg:
Hands (your own or a friend’s*!)
**may require consent, depending on who owns the Jell-O
Q: What about a real vagina?
No, Biff. That is literally the only place you must not ejaculate if you
want to prevent abortions. Again, do not ejaculate into a vagina
if you are opposed to abortion.
Q: What if I already ejaculated into a vagina?
Sorry, now it’s up to the person whose vagina you ejaculated into to
decide whether to value her own life or priorities over gestating your
seed. Next time, control your boner if you want to prevent
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