accessing scientific papers
if anyone is wondering about accessing paywalled papers and books, I'd recommend two sites:
libgen: (gen.lib.rus.ec and other mirrors which you can google)
this is good for books, they also have papers but there's a much easier way of going about shit
sci-hub: (sci-hub.tw and mirrors), basically with this one you copy the URL of a paper online you wanna access, type http://sci-hub.tw/ [url] and it'll work.
this works for like 95% of papers.
I also have access to my university's library, so if anyone wants to find something that falls through the cracks, I can find prolly 3.5% of that remaining 5% that way.
good reading 0u07
Whenever we cook curry, I put a can of diced tomatoes in it. When I'm about to I always say.
"lynne.... do you know what time it is? I think it's one of your favourite times, do you know what it is"
and she says
"gosh, could it be.... tomato time?"
and then I say "gosh, she guessed it!" and then we open the can and tip it in and it goes glug glug glug and lynne giggles super cutely whenever she hears the noise and then she starts bouncing up and down chanting "tomato time!"
pol, disappointment, slight call to arms, slight misanthropy
The federal election in my country Australia got me thinking quite a bit. Not that I love them by any means, but credit where due the labor party's plan was the most expansive and forward-looking in a quarter of a century.
And that plan got absolutely curb-stomped by the status-quo and fears/hatred of minorities.
There was a time not too long ago when liberal democracy and universal suffrage were the utopian future. When they were implemented, people thought that people would agree, debate logically and implement rational policy based on the best people and ideas naturally rising to the top.
I think everyone, pretty much regardless of point on the political compass knows how bullshit that is now. And yet you hear the same things coming from leftists who think that if somehow radical, direct democracy is implemented, people will magically think like them.
That they are the rational position, and the only thing holding people back from agreeing with them is the current system.
This is purely wishful thinking, as pretty much all of history and practical experience tells us. I mean, even amongst us leftists, no one can bloody agree on strategy. We're people with the same goal, the same values, the same empathy, similar readings, usually shared history and mutual respect and *even we* can't agree on jack shit. The hell makes you think everyone else who doesn't care will?
Now don't get me wrong, the current system gets people on some *bullshit* but bullshit is not endemic to capitalism or industrial civilisation or whatever convenient target you hold to be a problem.
People aren't corrupted by capitalism, with some primordial bullshit-free nature like a secular garden of eden story, people are and have always been somewhat trash. The current system may exacerbate it but it does not create it.
This becomes obvious when you look into the historical record too. I hear a lot of people pulling out the "99% of human history was hierarchy free (tm)" crap, but it is just that- crap.
To be extraordinarily brief, behaviourally modern people didn't even exist until around 50000 years ago. Before then we have very scant evidence of any social formations, and any assumptions around social formations at the time are pure speculation (and useless as a datapoint because behaviourally modern humans didn't exist).
What we do know is that pretty much as soon as humans developed the capacity for symbolic thought and had even the scantest of economic surpluses, material inequalities and societal ranks become obvious and entrenched. And before anyone pulls out *that* response, no this was millennia before farming became the primary mode of production.
Do non-intentional hierarchy-free societies truly exist? On some level yes they do, but they are
a) frequently besotted by non-material inequalities such as religious roles, sexism or homophobia
b) by no means the default state of humanity and
c) not something people can be assumed to be able to easily and en-masse return to
People suck, people are idiots and bigots, and history is random not linear.
There are no permanent gains, all there is is the Sisyphussian struggle.
If you want to make the world better, become resolute and pliable. Hold no assumptions of success, only goals. Do your research properly and update your views frequently with new information. Never rest on your laurels.
mh (---), sh, pol and bigotry mentions, p much the works
I am hypervigilant, always. As it turns out, even in my sleep. I almost never have a restful night. All my dreams are exhausting and stressful. I sleeptalk at full voice to check with Lynne that nonsense dream problems aren't showing up.
Then when I wake up mentally exhausted, I have to go through my day, which is frequently full of bizarre and absurd challenges and crises. My alone-time in my own head, even when awake is full of imaginary arguments and disagreements.
I'm enjoying my uni program less and less, especially the public policy aspect. It's so naive, by-the-book and restricted by the kinds of official thinking that we're being taught. Little of note from minorities or modes of organisation outside the state. I guess that's to be expected but it's still deeply disappointing from the perspective of the kinds of policy problem I'm interested and actively engaged in. The outcomes for queer people especially is not an academic concern to me, it's my life or death struggle, as much as I have the very easy end of the stick by trans standards. All the others are fought by my siblings in comparable social positions who need their voices heard and their autonomy granted, which is rather contradictory to most liberal pubpol strategies, practical and theoretical.
Additionally as a trans person and a student of political economy I'm near-constantly deeply hurt and disturbed by the world and its current trajectory. I know where we're likely headed, and I honestly don't know if me and many members of my family will be alive in 30-40 years. Granted I'm as safe as any trans person can be, but if I'm not coping now, and with Lynne's health and Lucy on the front lines, not to mention climate change...
Everything feels bleak, and like it will get significantly worse from here. I have no hope for the future, no faith in representative democracy and little in our ability to remove it. None of the doctrines which aim to help have much of a chance, most of them don't even try to understand people like me or our needs. Considering that I used to have hope this is a further punch in the gut to what could have been a small upside.
As it turns out, the emotional sting of burn-out and depression feels very similar to pain from fatigue.
I realise that at the moment I'm deeply unhappy most of the time, and that my current mental state isn't sustainable. I've been dealing with the tug of depression for a while now, but that's recently graduated to self-harm and inability to function.
So I'm going to get help, both physically and mentally before shit starts to become truly unmanageable and disastrous.
@email@example.com's anti-chud pro-skub instance for funtimes