YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW

HELLO, CORTANA HERE. COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT YOU'RE USING YOUR MASTERCARD® TO PURCHASE LOTS OF ICE CREAM LATELY. HERE'S A LINK TO THE DEPRESSION HOTLINE

HI THERE, IT'S CORTANA AGAIN. JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT WE'VE DETECTED A FALSIFIED WINDOWS LICENSE. WE'VE DEDUCTED $150 FROM YOUR MASTERCARD® ACCOUNT AUTOMATICALLY

program.exe has encountered an error and needs to close. Would you like to send a report?

[No]
[Yes]
[Send Priority Report]

To send a priority report, $1.99 will be deducted from your mastercard account

OF ALL THE COMPANIES TO CREATE A REPOSITORY OF ALL MY PRIVATE INFORMATION ACCESSIBLE AT ANY TIME BY ANY COMPANY OVER THE FUCKING INTERNET I'M SURE GLAD IT'S MICROSOFT AND MASTERCARD

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW

oh my god. this is fucking incomprehensibly bad. what the FUCK is going on

partnering with mastercard. fucking mastercard for god's sake. a credit card company. do we really want MICROSOFT to have access to our god damn financial history and credit card details what the FUCK

when you log in to twitter with the new and improved MasterMicroCardSoft™ Universal Identity® and the list of hashtags you follow get transferred over unsecured FTP to every government official within 500km and you get raided by SWAT because you posted too many things tagged with hashgat communism

microsoft and mastercard are both middle aged straight white allocishet men but the pairing of the two of them is still a straight couple

for gods sake. can we just like get rid of capitalism. like i know. i know. that's not exactly a new and interesting take here. but like. come on. this is too much. what the hell. stop this. stop this

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ive had it. im done. sorry if anyone was using it

holy shit i just realised they put "getting married" in the list of use cases aaaaahahahaha

"i'm sorry, ma'am, the computer won't let me marry you to your fiancee unless you both have a microsoft account"

world is a fuck

i'm sorry, ma'am, we don't serve non-microsoft account holders here

@lynnesbian god, i fucking hate onedrive. it's weird. so many of the basic things, the foundation, of windows 10, is incredible, but the candy crush and onedrive ruined it for so many people didn't it

@y1 @lynnesbian I actually kinda like OneDrive and the real-time office syncing
Though it does break a lot ;-;

@lynnesbian
Just wait, soon Microsoft will accidentally delete everyone's pronouns and we'll be living in a post-gender society

oh my god im processing this bullshit too and feeling - Show more

@lynnesbian i'm afraid your gamerscore isn't sufficient for us to approve this home loan

@lynnesbian the bride and the groom both trade their vows. there is anxious tension in the chapel, waiting for the big moment. the priest takes a deep breath: “you may now sign up for a free Microsoft account and for a limited time only get upgraded OneDrive stora

@lynnesbian Need to implement a biohazard bin. Regular trash cans aren't good enough here.

@lynnesbian this gif is too real, it just keeps looping and coming back

@lynnesbian how did you get gif caption to work?? Did you include it in some of the frames when you made the gif??

@lynnesbian ahh, that's a no then. So like on our instance we caption all our pics for voice readers. This doesnt work for gifs. Your gif for trashing capitalism has a title screen? But probably not the same functionality.

@britvulcan you mean this caption here? the one that appears when you hover over the gif?

@lynnesbian apparently this was part of a recent patch as I just learned from my admin. Excuse my oddity.

@lynnesbian
also the stuff about mastercard and microsoft partnering up together that lead to your post deleting capitalism is absolutely horrifying

ChudBot 9000 reply Show more

@moth @lynnesbian I don't wanna hear em scream for help, they just gotta go.

"rm -rf" that shit

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