girl: trying blue lipstick today
thirty year old cis white male .social user: Oh, um... That's certainly interesting! I definitely prefer red lipstick, though. When a woman is aroused, her lips flush red, so red lipstick is a great aide in making you appear fertile.

i know this is a strawman that i invented but reading this makes me want to put on my blue lipstick

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girl: just got out of the shower
man: Ahhh the scent of a freshly cleaned woman... I knew it well before Debra left me

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*Straps men like that onto a rocket and launches them into the sun* :blobcatcoffee:


me: sees all of this and just fucking stares while doing my best not to rupture too many organs due to restraining infernal laughter. awkward infernal laughter.


Blue lipstick is amazing, you should rock it.

@lynnesbian ive had someone say this to me almost verbatim at work once

@MegaLobsterFace consider moving to a different planet to get away from this person

@lynnesbian seriously, though, i wasnt even wearing a weird color, iirc i wasnt wearing lipstick at all, dude just unprompted told me i should wear red more bc it makes girls look turned on

anyway that dude was a regular and i came in for a week after that w/ black lipstick

@lynnesbian i think if someone tries to come up w/ an extreme edge-case to demonstrate a point and someone can come forward w/ that exact scenario having happened to them, everyone involved should win a free pizza

@lynnesbian oh um, that's certainly interesting! i definitely prefer eybrowns tho

when a woman is aroused, her eybrowns sweat, so having eybrowns is a great aide in making you appear fertile

@lynnesbian I like how the man in this joke is literally just Jordan Peterson, please allow me to explain your joke more to you (1/?)

@foggy i actually was referencing JP and i'm glad you noticed ;p

@lynnesbian it's the only thing I ever read him say before tuning out and making fun of him forever


@lynnesbian Oh, um... That’s certainly interesting! I definitely prefer actual blood though. When a predator is feasting, their lips drip with the remnants of their most recent kill, so actual blood is a great aide in making you appear dangerous.

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