- the way she acted with pleroma makes me think: what's going to be the next pleroma? what is she going to attack next? i asked her as a joke if she would do the same to, say, the netBSD community if she saw a bunch of users making fun of oppressed people, and she said yes. i don't want to be around when that next happens. when, not if.
- she clarified that when she said she "adored" me, it was as a mother, not as a fan. that's even worse. if you can't tell, i don't particularly want to be her daughter. even writing that out is unsettling.
- the way she turned on pleroma and the theme as soon as someone with clout let her know what was up is again, troubling. it's hugely contradictory to the things she says about protecting marginalised people. how can you protect them if you won't even listen to them unless they have over a thousand followers?
- she knows what it's like to be unfairly targeted by masses of people, so why would she inflict that on every single pleroma user? because she was convinced that they were "the bad guys".
- the way that she keeps thinking i'm going to come back is franky pathetic. remember how i asked her to defederate with my instance? she didn't. she wanted to "leave the door open". apparently that was worth more ethan listening to the one fucking thing i ever asked her to do. this is emblematic of a much bigger issue: she doesn't actually realise that any of the things she's done are wrong, or at least, she thinks they're no big deal, and put her own self-interest before doing the only thing i've ever asked of her. and maybe they aren't a big deal to some people, but they are to me, and when you're trying to be friends with someone, it's important to know how you make them feel.

i think she's trying, and she's becoming more mature, but i don't see why i should make the conscious effort to un-burn that bridge when the only thing waiting for me on the other side is a few friends and anna. i'd like the friends to come back but i can't stand anna, for the reasons outlined above and more. i'm not making these posts to "dunk" on her, i'm making these posts because numerous people have asked me why i defederated and even asked me to federate with her again, and i'll now have two posts to refer to.