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*extremely security question voice* people always have a favourite movie and it never changes. everyone has been to at least once concert. the answer to the question "what is your pet's name" will never change. people have one single nickname from high school and they'll never forget it

security question: what is your mother's maiden name?
macbeth: :blobcatderpy:

(in my adaptation of the shakespearean plays everyone is a catgirl and nobody dies, they all just hug and have a good time)

@lynnesbian I always choose the questions that have to do with your father's name


We have the same name

@lynnesbian *buys out the whole theater for me and my polycule*

@lynnesbian my favorite question is "Please touch your inserted Security Key"

@lynnesbian fun fact, in this case, you may actually better off not setting security questions (or setting them to. Gibberish) because if you have your mygov account deleted and you have to recreate it, you'll need to answer up to date security questions to re-link your services (although this may involve calling a government department if you can't remember your tfn etc which is not really reccomended? Because calling up sucks!)

@smouldery i made up fake questions and answers and stored them in my password manager uwu💮

@smouldery
*setting up an account over a phone voice*
me: my email is lynne at lynnesbian dot space
representative: got it, bin at lynne is a disgrace dot com

@lynnesbian @smouldery [@BestGirlGrace voice] my email address is horsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorse at horsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorsehorse dot horse

@ben fun fact: my email provider offers three frontends, and the horse one is way too long for at least one of them, and the support people were like "buddy, you knew what you were getting into"

customer service cw 

@lynnesbian @00dani [sorry, your email has been detected to be too cute. Please choose a less cute email address and try again]

@smouldery @lynnesbian @00dani uhh... our system doesnt let us include special characters...

@lynnesbian i have always coined fake answers to these questions and remember those, but keep them consistent. i have never heard of that anywhere else but maybe it is not as bad? who knows

@lynnesbian I was always weirded out by “who was your first kiss” as a security question but now that you put it this way at least that one isn’t gonna be different in the future

@lynnesbian though I still do not know the name of the girl I made out with while drunk in high school so this isn’t helpful at all

@lynnesbian gonna start putting “my wife, of course. Disgusting!” as the answer for these until it disappears as an option

*extremely They Should Be Giants voice* 

@lynnesbian the other day i signed up for something where one of the preset security questions was "what is my security question"

@lynnesbian my nickname was literally loser and i didnt forget. I also had no friends lol

@lynnesbian
even for questions with specific answers i’m always like “do i include the state?” or “do i abbreviate ‘road’?”

@lynnesbian
there are only like 10 security questions across all websites so i wouldn’t be surprised if you could guess which questions those are for

@jordyd @lynnesbian I liked that set of depressing security questions, like "what was your biggest failure" and "who do you feel like you betrayed"

@jordyd @lynnesbian "when was the last time you emptied the shared coffee pot but didn't make more?

@lynnesbian (there's a post I made at some point about it but) I love* it when they ask things like what your first car was. As if the people signing up for fxghing, LEGO.com or something, not only HAVE a car, but have HAD a FIRST car.

* I don't love it

@impiaaa @lynnesbian why are you signing up for lego.com if you can't recite the model number of the first lego technic car you built

@lynnesbian

"what is your husband's middle name"

the virgin mary: 😕

@lynnesbian
Try asking these questions of people born in Iran or Nigeria, prior to 1970. Some questions are so culturally biased as to be irrelevant.

@lynnesbian Nobody has ever told anyone in the world where they grew up or what their childhood pet was or who their mum is

@lynnesbian

You realize that your answers always have to be something completely out of context, right?

:)

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