i had a shower this morning and then looked in the mirror and still felt kind of self conscious about my appearance. was i doing something wrong? am i really not attractive enough, or is the media getting inside my head? i asked my wife and she told me i'm beautiful as ever. is that a good thing? i felt like everyone was judging me when i went outside. like i was being watched. and if you feel the same when you're on the internet, you need nordVPN. using military grade encryption, nordVPN protects you fro
i've been seeing the psych for nearly a year. he's trying his best, but i thought i was just fundamentally broken. life didn't feel exciting to me anymore. i'm only thirty and i feel like i've done it all. sure, having a successful youtube channel is nice, and i can make the videos about whatever i want, but... but i don't feel like i *want* anything. you know when you play a video game for way too long and it starts feeling like there's nothing left? you've found all the patterns, the routines, even the random quests seem to be repeating. that's what life felt like to me. it was just on a loop. i had a schedule, a list of things to do, and i did them. i felt like life was a fucking flowchart that i'm just stepping through every day until i finally die. but something changed. i broke out. i finally found a way to find life enjoyable again. lootcrate sends you a monthly package filled with exciting conte
depression, loss of a loved one, plane crash, shitpost
i relied far too much on my wife. i just felt like she'd be there forever. like she'd never leave me.
plane crashes are so rare that i felt like it would never happen. if i had gone with her to her parent's house for christmas, i'd be dead too. what did i do to deserve to live? why did she have to die? she was the nicest person you could ever meet. not a mean bone in her body. my wife of forty years... gone in an instant.
i didn't leave the house for a week after that. couldn't bring myself to do anything. the dishes piled up, food rotted, but i didn't care. the earth could have crashed into the sun and i wouldn't have moved. i just wanted her back.
i needed to eat after a while. i'd eaten all the leftovers she'd cooked, the snacks she'd bought... i had to do things for myself. but i couldn't bring myself to leave that goddamned house. that was the last place i saw her alive. where i said goodbye. our last kiss. our last memory. but i couldn't just stay inside and not eat anything. i had to do something. anything.
that's when i found out about blue apron. every week, a set of deliciou
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