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i've learned so much from my university programming class! what do you think of my first ever hello world? :)

honestly really proud of that function definition

i spent a while trying to add as many keywords as i could think of across all the languages i've ever used

i was gonna throw an Implements MyClass or something in there but its already too much

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okay now i'm researching function declarations in various languages to see how long i can make this

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@lynnesbian you aren't catching an abstract nullpointer class and might fail to catch the other types of null pointer

@lynnesbian If you stand real far away and squint at it, you could be forgiven for thinking this was a real thing written in Java

@lynnesbian
I feel bad because I think I understand the meta message and can totally sympathize
IHRYAGiBlAn4yw.jpg

@lynnesbian this is like reverse code golf and it makes me wanna smash my head into a lamp D:

@lynnesbian thats how you win at reverse code golf

make it so not even the most jokey of esolangs can hope to run it

@norikawa
The author points out porting CPL to other platforms would be fairly painless, while critics claim it would be fairly pointless.

@lynnesbian wait no not even cat bc it doesnt output nevermind :blobderpy:

@lynnesbian

This code does not exist. It's not working, it's not functional, it's not on any actual language. Every time I look at this code an uholy child weē̷̴͒̒ͨ̊̎́̀͏̩̪͈̳̞͓̖͍͎̭̮̮̠̫̰͜p̷̱͕̹̲̠̠̤̟͎̘̮̉̓̊̊͌̆ͨͨ̌ͧ̔ͦ͂̚͟s̴̟̦͈̟̬̩̺͕̻̖̋ͥ͆ͨ̀̀͜ͅ ̷̺̦̟͈̬͎͇͕̟̮̝̐̾͆̿͋͌̓͛͗ͥͫ͘͡͞ͅi͊ͯ̊̈͒͑̄̾̚͏̸̡̛̼̼̙̖̹̰͠n̛̻̘̩̙̮̹͓̞̙̩͕͚̲̖͌ͪ̆́͂́̓́̓ͪ̆̅ͦͯ͊ͤ͐̿̀͝ ̡̨͔̩̝̞̜̺̫̩͈͎̪̣͔͚̦͓̬͎ͣ̌ͣͫ̇̉̈́̓͆͑ͮ͋ͨ̈͑ě̆̀ͪ́̏̾̀͆̐̆҉̴͕̪̙̹̙̮̱̫͔͉͉͚̳͓͍͉̞̪̕t͖͚͕͇̗̳͙̬͉͔͔̓̋͊̋̅ͥ̔ͮ͌̊̐ͪ̎̀͢͢e̞͙̬̗̤̼̭͒̔͐̓ͫ̾͗̏͢͟r̡̋̌̽̏ͩͥ͠҉͖̥̗̹̲̫̮͓͚͖ņ̷̶̡̡̱̣͚͒̑̅̾̔ͭ͛ͧͦͦ̎a̶͔̼͔̩̫͓̭̬͖ͬ́̎ͥ̑͢͝͝͞ͅl̶̷̨̡͉̮̣̭̹ͫ͌͂̆ͯͮ̔̽ͣ͆ͮ̂̎̽̍̽́̕ͅ
E͠v̴erý si̧n͠g̷le ͘bit̡ ̛of ͘còde̡ I̸ ̢read ͏bri̷ng̀s t̩̼͈͍̯͓̫̰h̵̵͍̘͈̤͉̺̭͟ẹ͕̥̹̘̀͜m̪͍̟͎̭̟͘ ̧̘͇̙͜c̤̫̭̭̦̯̥̱͢l̶͚̟͍̱͠ǫ̸̸̟͍̦̠s͓̮̩͘̕e̬̖͡͡r̴͏̭̩͙̳̟̯̼̰̪ ͚͉͚̩̼̖͔͞t҉̲̯ơ͍̞̼͠ ̕͞҉̣̺͙͔͈̱o̳͡u̫̮̩̪̯̻̦͢r̶̨͚͉͝ͅ ̷̢̖͖͈̩͎̱̗r̡̧̦̹̥̯̖̬e̯͖̺̥a̸̳̫̤̺̜̕l̷̞͖̟̟̱̤̬͢͝ͅm̴̧̥̺̜̳̱͉̻̣͠.̩̗̜̀A̲͍͇̠̎̀N̵̷̛̬ͫ̃̆ͩ͐̀̓ͅḐ̴̱ͧͥ͒̅̊̄ ͕̣͎̲ͧ́̀ͣͭ͑̓̀T͔̺̗̹ͣ͐̈́͒̀͛H̢̖̗̝͙͎͕͖̩̓͑͐ͥ̐ͪ̇ͩ̀ͅȨ̘̘̝͔͇͈͎̪̊̄ͥͤ̽̐ͤͮ͞͝Y̵̫̪̠̦̼̮̳̬̭̌̂̚ ̭̘̓̎͋Ȃ̝̼̪̲̫̖ͨ̾ͨ̇ͬ́́́Ṟ͓̼͍̱͗̓ͪ̒E̖̘̪͇͍̹͇̎̒̆ͨ͋̍͟ ̪̦͙̟̅͆̍ͭ́̉̆͋̈́͜C̷̭͋̃̆̑ͦ̂̏͑Oͯ̀̋͛͌͛̄͏̷̻̙͚M̸̩̭͖̠͇͈̎̃̅ͯ͋ͩ͌͂͟͞Ǐ̢͕̮͓̘̰͐ͯ͊Ñ̙̖̪͔̤̣͕̞ͬͬ͐ͬͧ̇́ͅĢ̴̡͍̟ͩ
͎̙̻͖̜̰͝

@lynnesbian half-expecting this to secretly be valid brainfuck or something

@lynnesbian if I were to imagine this code as an animal, it would be some grotesque deformed chimera that is perpetually in pain.
It looks like it could function, but it is in mind numbing pain.

@lynnesbian

I tried to run this code and now I crave pork rinds and cybernetics

@lynnesbian Fantastic movie. Highly recommend it.

That code made me think of it immediately.

@lynnesbian Simply glad because I can simply do:

<?php
$var = 'Hello World';
echo $var;

@lynnesbian You can't see my eye twitching right now, but rest assured twitch it does.

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