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why can't i live in the future already so i can say "computer, bring me food"

all i can do is say "okay google, order something on uber eats" and lie on the floor like a dried up slug for thirty minutes while someone gets me food and then i'd still have to get up to answer the door, and also the person getting the food is paid horribly and is overworked

when is the FUTURE

@lynnesbian I say we re-purpose old slot CD-ROM drives to shoot out fresh hot corn tortillas upon request.

@breakfastgolem @lynnesbian

this alarmed me to read because i imagined a not distant future where the corn tortillas that served us for so long are phased out by Apple for proprietary tortillas that have to be used with their machines.

@breakfastgolem @lynnesbian -imagines a tortilla getting flung across the room like bread in a toaster that's had its spring tightened too much-

Yes. Let's do it. I wanna see this happen.

@breakfastgolem @lynnesbian
Wait, maybe a floppy drive would be better. You can't eject bite-sized tortillas out of a slot-loaded CD drive.

@lynnesbian have roomies who are willing to replenish the pile of snacks next to you

problemo solvedo

@lynnesbian hmmmmmm
have more roomies?
work in shifts replenishing eachothers' snack piles?

@grainloom the current plan is for lucy to move here from the UK

drastic times call for drastic measures

@lynnesbian indeed. stay strong. :rosie_the_riveter_flexing_but_like_shes_also_an_anthropomorphic_rabbit:

@lynnesbian the future is you doing a backflip and making dinner with home grown veggies and fresh eggs maybe chicken sometimes

@lynnesbian I have food but I can't eat it due to a bug in Microsoft Teams

@lynnesbian you think this is a shitpost but it's an accurate description of my current situation

@ben @lynnesbian ...I misread that as Microsoft Trans and I'm suddenly feeling extremely ill over rainbow capitalism.

@quaylessed there's food in the fridge i could reheat but i am depression so i'm just lying here starving instead

@lynnesbian to pull yourself out of depression and motivate yourself to cook, think of all the disgusting restaurant employees handling your gmo infested pesticide covered frankenfoods before the uber eats driver gets it and picks a few morsels off it with his dirty fingers and delivers it to you hours later and cold
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