imagine if windows was like android, and microsoft released a new windows version but you had to wait several months for dell/hp/acer/whatever to update their weird windows build with shitty custom theming and candy crush permanently installed, but even when dell finally updated their windows build from a 6 month old version to a 3 month old version, you don't get it straight away because your laptop is a t-mobile dell so you have to wait even longer, and after two years one of microsoft or dell or t-mobile say "fuck it" and just stop supplying upgrades and you're stuck on Windows 10 October 2015 Edition for all eternity


the two main things i like about iOS more than android are
a) it looks WAY nicer
b) this horrifying graph (and all others like it)

· · Web · 4 · 6 · 11

if i had a bitcoin for every time google had promised "okay THIS time we've fixed version fragmentation" i would have somewhere between $0.0003 and several billion dollars

the joke is that bitcoin is wildly unstable and android is wildly garbage

to think: mobile apple devices are almost immediately updated to the latest version. apple could practically rid the world of those awful shiny gradient emojis they have in less than a week

to think: apple had the blob emojis and intentionally, on purpose, made the conscious intentional decision to PURPOSEFULLY replace them with the godawful ones they have today

i love using open source software

sent from my android phone that runs hundreds of binary blobs that are required for 99% of apps to work properly

major android update drinking game: take a drink every time a major update promises
- machine learning
- vastly improved battery life
- a new framework that does slightly more and a lot less than the old one
- we're making safetynet even stricter and implementing it into more of android, but it's still totally open source you guys, together not the same haha
- the end of update fragmentation
- fuck you

choosing between android and iOS is like choosing whether you want to be bludgeoned to death by a guy wearing a "fuck you" shirt or a guy wearing a "we appreciate you in principle" shirt

the way that you have to become an OEM before you can start fucking with the kernel without safetynet getting mad of you kinda reminds me of how the house of lords works in the UK where you just automatically get to do Important Law Shit if you're part of a family that saw a royal dick pick in 1539

we can hope that whatever google fuchsia ends up becoming is an improvement over this horrifying state of affairs

it won't happen and it'll almost definitely be far worse

but we can hope, in the sense that we as humans are capable of feeling hopeful in general

death mention 

i'm sure a lot of people are wondering why i use Android instead of iOS, and that's because android is like sitting in a vat of non lethal acid whereas iOS is like a bullet through the head

iOS would hurt a lot less, and have a lot less logistical issues, but it's also immediately fatal

"immediately fatal" in this sense is "entirely closed, both in source code and philosophy, and run by the richest company in the world"

if android went closed source i would definitely switch to iOS as soon as the old open versions became unusable

how am i supposed to be hopeful for the future when my television runs android

i meant to say google in this post

google had the blob emojis

i'm really fucking tired

how did we get from "linux allows you to update the kernel without needing to reboot" to "linux runs on the majority of all phones and the "distro" they use is so heavily fucked up by awful modifications and bureaucratic bullfuckery that most people are several years of updates behind, and even the very newest phones use outdated kernel versions"

-still no way to make seamless backups without giving your soul to goole

@binchicken i haven't done a long "i am angry about android" thread in a while

i used to just randomly rant about weird specific shit like the kitkat storage API change or media transfer protocol for like, an hour

i thought i had healed from those dark times

@LunaDragofelis @binchicken MTP is great as long as you don't want to do more than one thing at a time and you don't mind if it fails 60% of the time

@lynnesbian @binchicken I know exactly what you mean. I used it several times to put music on my previous Android phone. I only use mtp for small transfers, like up to a dozen files, for the real shit I take out the SD card.

@LunaDragofelis @lynnesbian @binchicken gonna intercept lol, I dont have sd card so for the real shit i just use FTP, definitely more reliable than usb

@lynnesbian the rage is pure and righteous and i am c l e a n s e d

@lynnesbian that's EXACTLY why I want to provide an alternative, but sadly it won't be ready until *at the earliest* late 2022.

E-Line (the OS component of System E) will be highly modular, so individual modules will be updated, instead of the whole system. You can install some custom modules, and the "official" ones can still update normally!


@lynnesbian can you please link to the latest stable open source android version? would love to get my phone stable ;w;

@uint8_t it's not nearly as easy as something like a desktop Linux distro where you download an ISO and install it, you need specific builds for your exact model of phone (down to whether it's single or dual phone) that include binary blobs to drive things like the cell reception and firmware

it's a major, major pain in the ass to build your own, and requires absurd specs including about 100GB of SSD space just for one build

@lynnesbian I built a Lineage 14.1 for my sony E5823 to have Wireguard support in the kernel, but it still feels like Windows 98 when I had to reinstall it every once in a while for no reason

death mention 


> and that's because android is like sitting in a vat of non lethal acid whereas iOS is like a bullet through the head

and they overcharge you for the bullet.

death mention 

I would have switched to iOS if not for their laughable patent lawsuit over a curve shape.

Really lose respect for them after that.

language, sexualized violence 

@lynnesbian Those smug frat boys are calling their new operating system all but "fucks ya," and I don't think this is meant to imply pleasure or consent.

@lynnesbian also they both have a tendency to lock you into their own ecosystems if you purchase apps or music

@SwooshyCueb google music used to allow you to play any song on your phone or your google account

about 6 months ago my mum called me and told me her music wasn't playing

turns out, the newer versions of google music require you to upload your MP3 files to google music in order to play them

the app displays the MP3 files just fine, but when you click play it just tells you no

also you can't upload the files through the app

@SwooshyCueb did i mention that any songs bought through google play can only be downloaded a total of two times ever, unless you use their music sync app

which also doesn't work on android devices

literally the only way to obtain an MP3 of the song you bought on google play on an android device is to go to the google play music web library thing, enable "desktop mode" in your browser to get the desktop version of the site, and use up one of your two forever downloads on it

@lynnesbian also hey you posted this at exactly midnight my time

...... I need to go the fuck to bed

@lynnesbian Have you checked out the pine phone from the pine64 project? I'm thinking of jumping to that.

But basically, fuck this market, I'll ditch all the apps and take anything that makes phone calls and can run python, even if I have to implement a UI myself.


I also love using open source software.

Sent from my Android phone with all the Google-crap ripped out of it, and it can still run almost a dozen different apps.

Not really. If you don't restrict to F-droid only apps, apps run bloatware proprietary libs and Google analytics anyway.

@lynnesbian nice rant! However you don't have to run all those proprietary binary blobs. You can replace in part the Play services with microg and F-droid, if you don't need apps that require safety net... that's what I've been doing for quite some time.

@lynnesbian I just wanted to say, as a LineageOS user, that I appreciate everything about this post.

Aside from the hardware of my phone actually still being pretty great, I'm very ready to switch to an Apple phone. Android is just a mess. Not even a hot one.

@lynnesbian Oracle bought the company that did the live kernel patching and I stopped hearing about it after that.

@dl @lynnesbian I know a couple ex-ksplice folks, most of them quit a ~short time after acquisition (par for the course). It's still doing stuff, though as part of the oracle linux experience, I guess

@lynnesbian @felix Would it surprise you that the answer is Capitalism ;)

@lynnesbian I didn't know until very recently that even the latest versions of Android are still haven't moved to kernel version 5. I mean, I understand they probably backport a lot so they can take their time evaluating the changes and how they might affect their platform, and it also avoids breaking compatibility with the proprietary drivers they have to use for most of the hardware, but it's just crazy how far behind it can be.

@lynnesbian google had perfect, gender neutral emojis that they decided to ruin.. apples have always just sucked.

@cuttlefish @lynnesbian My first smartphone was a Nexus 5 and boyyy did that spoil me wrt adorable blob emoji and actually having on time Android updates.
I'm not anti iPhone or anything just Androids have fit my budget better :(

@lynnesbian except that they’re categorically the nicest emoji set that exists? 🤷🏻‍♀️

@lynnesbian I don't really care about fragmentation per se. Like, desktop Linux fragmentation is ok. But Android is fragmented only in the worst ways.
It is basically a ton of crapware that is incompatible with one another. All the companies competing for control over your phone occasionally deadlock themselves and leave the device unusable.

@lynnesbian I mean, '50% of devices use iOS 13' because Apple goes out of their way to *quickly* stop providing updates to anything more than a couple years old, and then everything on the App Store is updated to target only that newest or newest - 1 version.

- Signed, bitter, jaded individual who was gifted a hand-me-down iPad when his parents 'upgraded' to find it's forever locked to iOS 9.x with no way to replace it with Linux or anything with actual security updates.

@lynnesbian At least if you get the 'right' kind of Android device, when the manufacturer stops supporting it you can unlock the bootloader and hopefully slap LineageOS or something on it and actually be a lot more up to date than otherwise.

But all of this comes down to the fact that SoC vendors push chips that are ultra closed, proprietary piles of trash with ancient drivers that require similarly ancient Linux kernels, and you can't easily upgrade because of all the binary blobs.

@kithop i think it'd be a lot more interesting to see a chart comparing the iOS/android versions used by phones 3 years old and less

the android chart would look less worse but still awful compared to the iOS one

@lynnesbian Not to mention they PRETEND to ATTEMPT to take your privacy seriously. Every time someone cracks open an android app they find a listening device next to a cryptominer.

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